25 Killer First Dates
For some, the first impression is the only one that matters. Comforting, isn't it? The thought that one moment
could feasibly define the rest of your life. Even more comforting when you consider that if you've met someone
online, in a chat room, through a phone personal ad in any number of modern ways, your first impression counts
for double-because it's also the first time these people are going to be seeing you.
OK, now that you're done hyperventilating, calm down. In looking for love, you really only have one goal: Find the
person who's going to fall in love with you for you. Yeah, sure, you want to find someone you find appealing too.
but you can take care of that one on your own. No, your big concern is in impressing someone; shining yourself in
your best light, but at the same time, doing so without sacrificing any of who you are as a person. That's right,
any one who suggests that you pretend to be something you aren't or act like someone else to get the girl/guy is
completely off base.
So it goes without saying a first date should be something that allows you to be you-and lets you both cut loose
and have fun in the process. Try a few of these ideas on for size.
The Great Outdoors
You don't have to pitch a tent in the forest to enjoy the great outdoors. Besides, if you're camping on your first
date, you might be moving a bit fast. Sure, you adventurous types could tackle an all day hike or
maybe a kayak around the lake as a memorable first date. But a picnic in the park, walk
along the beach or wine on a cliff to watch the sunset are also creative, different ways to get outside
and still have fun. Most importantly, it gets the two of you alone in a situation where you have to communicate,
your best shot to make a killer first impression.
Best Foot Forward
Of course, for some people that's too much pressure, so lets break it down a little more. A first date is a chance
for you to show off a little. Not gloat, mind you, just shine in your element. Horseback riding
aficionado? How about a lesson? Wine connoseiur? A tasting could lead to all sorts of interesting
places. It could be something as simple as miniature golf or as complex as taking the boat out for
a sunset sail. maybe you're a film buff and you've always wanted to take someone
to see the movie that changed your life. Or perhaps theatre in the park or an antique car
show will give you the chance to shine. No matter which way you slice it, if it's something you love,
chances are they'll love it too. or at least like watching you love it.
Out of Left Field
No, men, that is not a baseball reference (which, I'd like to add, generally speaking, is not a good first date.
Unless you know your date is a sports nut, don't make this one a priority). I mean do something way out of the ordinary.
I have a friend who's known for taking guys jet skiing on their first dates. Adventure sports (
parasailing, off-roading) are risky, but memorable. On the other end of the spectrum, I know someone who took a
cooking class on a first date-sound bland until you consider they were working with chocolate. A
psychic reading may run the risk of revealing too much, too soon, but if you're both open minded people, why not?
Is It Worth It, Lemme Work It
Some of you like to show off by spending money-not necessary on a first date, I don't think, but if you're going to spend
it, spend it right. Wrong way to spend it? On luxurious gifts you have no business giving someone you've only just met.
Right way to spend it? How about a moonlit harbor cruise, perhaps with cocktails? I know someone who
sprung for a swim with the dolphins because the girl had always wanted to do it-and you don't think she
remembered that day forever? Hot air balloon ride with champagne? Maybe a limo ride along the
coast? What these things have in common is that rather than being a material possession just about anyone could
have gone to the store and purchased, they each require thought and create a lasting memory, which really is the goal of
a good relationship. a string of lasting memories.
Do It Yourself
Any time you make an effort to do something cool, you get points. Any time that effort is solely and 100% you, you get
extra points. There's a reason the women cry every time Queer Eye for the Straight Guy teaches some dude how to cook
and entertain-because it's impressive. If you're a disaster in the kitchen, maybe you can go to a restaurant and
have the chef prep a special menu you've designed. And what dinner isn't complete without a song
serenade-if you can sing or play, get up there and do it. Maybe you get up at open mic night (I
know many a solid relationship born out of karaoke-and since everyone is bound to make a fool out of himself sooner or
later, why not the first night?). Point being-if you get your butt to work on the perfect date, they'll remember it that
much better in the end.
So before you go back to stressing about that first impression, remember-half of the people out there in the dating world
don't make a first impression. In fact, they don't make any impression. They're forgettable, and I guarantee you, no date
on this list is forgettable. Chin up. You're already half way there. You've got the tools. Now knock it home.
A creative headline for your profile will help attract attention.
Remember: Nude pics are fine, but if you e-mail them, anything can happen to them.
Update your profiles and change info frequently. This keeps your profile fresh and opens you up to a
whole new crop of potential dates.
Don't get too personal. Giving out your number, name, place of employment should wait until you're ready
to meet someone.
Lying about your stats will only come back to haunt you. People find these things out.
Before you agree to meet someone, take a step back and ask yourself if it's really a good match. If they
smoke and you hate smokers, love television when you're an outdoor person and the only reason you're agreeing
to meet is the hot pic, is it really worth your time?
Be positive. "Looking for someone to share my life with" or "in the mood for a good time"
is a lot more enticing than "a friend told me I should give this a try."
Try phone chat before agreeing to meet someone in person. You can surprisingly tell a lot about someone by
the way they handle themselves on the phone.
Use spell check. Coming off as uneducated is not the best sales pitch.
If you are going to put up a photo, make it well lit and attractive. Grainy, underexposed photos imply one
thing. you're hiding something.
Know what you're looking for. If it's dating, great. Friends, great. Sex . say so. Beating around the bush
isn't fair to others and it certainly won't help you.
Take your time. Throwing up a profile you haven't thought through may give the wrong impression about you
to others. and it also might not shine you in the best light.
If you e-mail someone and they don't write back, sure, give it a second go. But two is plenty. If they
still don't write back, they probably aren't interested, so move on.
Don't limit yourself to just one site. Trying out two or three dating sites will open you up to different
types of people.
Remember . you don't have to only look for relationships online. The best relationships usually start as
friendship, so keep your eyes open for those too.
So someone on the website stood you up. Don't sink to their level by putting a disclaimer up about them.
It makes you look jaded, and you'll attract more positive energy if your profile stays positive.
Ask a friend to look over your profile. We tend to downplay our good points. Someone who really likes you
will flatter you in all the right ways.
'Sup,' 'How goes it?', 'Nice pics.' Easy intros, but boring. Come on. You're e-mailing them for a reason.
Something grabbed your attention. Why not tell them?
In the event you are hooking up for sex, two questions you must ask. Are you single? Do you know your HIV
status? There are no guarantees they will tell the truth, but you still MUST ask, for your own safety.
At a loss for something to say about yourself? Try a quote from your favorite book, lyrics from a song that
say a lot about you. You can be creative without busting your brain for just the right words.
Some people suggest trying two different profiles on the same site to attract different types of people. For
examples, 'bad girl,' 'good girl.' 'Smart boy,' 'Jock boy.' If you're not sure what you're looking for, what
better way to find out?
There is such a thing as talking with too many people online. You figure it out when you send an e-mail to
one person that was meant for someone else and they get pissed. Keep it to three or four at a time. If they
don't interest you, move on.
Never hop online to chat with people after a bad day. Always sit down with a positive attitude, because your
mood carries over into e-mails, profiling and chatting.
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