Step one is complete. Your profile is up and running. And so the fun begins.
On any given site, the opportunity for potential is endless - you may literally have thousands of profiles to
sift through, and undoubtedly, 90-percent of those profiles are going to belong to losers. "People who
aren't right for you."
That's better.
Anyone can take 20 minutes to throw a profile up online - it's what those profiles say that matters. Don't get sucked
in by piercing blue eyes and a body that might make bricks in disguise.
You've taken this big leap of faith to enter the online dating pool, so why not do it right. Before sending off messages
to just about everyone who catches your eye, take a step back and think this through - logically speaking, there's a right
and a wrong way to go about putting yourself out there. But fear not - we're here to help you navigate the murky waters of
online dating.
Rule #1: Anyone without a picture = forget it
I'll probably catch a lot of flack for this, but trust me - I'm saving you a lot of trouble. If you're looking for friendship
or casual conversation, forge ahead - what does it really matter? But if your goal is to make a romantic connection, someone
who doesn't have a photo or refuses to show you a photo probably has a reason - and it frequently goes beyond looks. Many
people leave their pics offline because they're afraid of being recognized - by spouses, or if they're gay, people who don't know.
Also, people who refuse to use pics in a medium that is so reliant on visuals typically carry a lot of baggage. Steer clear.
Rule #2: There's such a thing as being too needy
So you see someone you like. Your type physically, seems to have a brain - what's not to love? You shoot off an e-mail and.
no reply. So you give it a second go and still, nothing. What's the big deal?
Barring system failure, I think it's safe to say he's just not that into you. It's a tough thing to come to terms with, but
move on. Sending more than two e-mails is like a cry for attention, and you don't want to become known as that needy person
online.
You can also usually tell when someone else on line is a tad desperate. People who e-mail you too much or throw their heart
out on a counter for the world to see in a profile. I stumbled upon one guy the other day who had literally written paragraphs
on the dissolution of his marriage and how it's taken him two years to learn how to trust again. Not to be insensitive, but
save that for a few dates in.
Rule #3: Avoid anyone who says "no fattys, Asians, over 35, etc."
There's a fine line between telling people what your type typically is and crossing people off the list from the get-go
for purely physical traits. For one, people who post limits such as these aren't typically the nicest folks in the world.
For another thing, do you really want someone who's going to up and leave you should you put on an extra 15 pounds one
Christmas vacation or have the audacity to grow old? These people think they're saving you time by setting some ground
rules, but really, they're just plain rude.
Rule #4: Remember. everyone stretches the truth
There's acceptable truth stretching and out and out lying. Age, weight and the size of a certain member of the family
frequently referred to as a third leg are the most common things people lie about online - those things you can kind of
cope with. But people who are vague with the facts when it comes to careers, relationship status and living situations
are usually best to avoid. You can prompt them with questions about medical school and a rundown of the exes if you want
more evidence, but if you aren't getting the answers you like, move on.
Rule #5: Read what people say. closely
You're looking for a relationship. They aren't. Is it really worth wasting your time trying to get someone you've never
met to change his mind and give you a chance? Maybe they just want friends, or they're just looking for sex. Expecting
something more is a good way to hurt your heart, and with enough opportunity to do that anyway, why add one more?
Rule #6: Never go after someone just because they're hot
People make this mistake all the time. someone's hot, so you agree to meet up. Red flag. What else do you know about this
person? Is their IQ past the double digits? What do they do for a living? Hobbies? Pets? Goals? The beauty of online dating
is that you get to screen people before you meet them, so throwing yourself at someone just because their hot is really the
same thing as hooking up in a club, only now, you've set the stage to actually have to talk to the person. Chat a bit first
before you schedule that first date
And finally.
Rule #7: Don't get too sucked in
Chatting and dating online should be fun not a job. Some people get so addicted to the Web they spend countless hours chatting
online. Work, friends, hobbies because secondary to refreshing that e-mail page for new messages. If you find yourself spending
too much time in front of the screen, take a break from the Web for a week or so. Living vicariously through the Internet is
dangerous stuff.
The Web gets a bad rap, and rightfully so - when approached wrong, it consumes lives and can make you feel pretty low and
depressed. But when approached responsibly, as the fun hobby it should be, it's not so bad - and hey, if you score a hottie
out of the deal, who's not game for an added bonus?
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