It's the Little Things You Do
Why do I wear? What do I say? Should I show up a little bit early, a little bit late, or right on time? You can ask
yourself a thousand questions early on in a relationship-and if you truly do care about the other person, chances
are you'll drive yourself nuts in the process. But the problem most people face in a new relationship is not the
questions they ask over and over, but the questions nobody thinks to ask.
Sure, big deal breakers can kill a relationship-but more often than not, it's the little things most people ignore that
are the real nails in the coffin. Take a step back from the big picture and consider the little things you can do to
show you're worth hanging on to.
Where are Your Manners?
Chivalry is not dead, and to prove it, try going that extra few feet every once in a while and show nothing goes further
than a little bit of class. Ladies, don't tune this out. I mean you too. Is opening the door for a lady such a burden?
How about picking up the tab when you ask her out. Be punctual, call if you're going to be late with a real excuse and
(ladies, gay men, this means you) if you know someone's coming to pick you up at 7pm, don't wait until 6:53 to hop in
the shower. You may think it's cute to keep 'em waiting-it's just plain rude.
Show Some Emotion
Dating guru's have taught you never to wear your heart on your sleeve-and I'm suggesting you suddenly start busting out
the Kleenex during Steel Magnolias or wage war when things don't go your way. But try expressing some genuine emotion.
When something makes you happy, don't play it aloof-let him know. If something makes you mad, don't bite her head off,
but certainly say something. Being truthful with your emotions isn't only essential for every new relationship-sometimes,
it's downright sexy.
Nothing's Interest Free
That said, part of showing emotion is showing an interest in the other person's life. Sports might bore the crap out of you,
but if it's a game you know he's addicted to, read up on it a bit or maybe indulge him by sitting in for a quarter. If work's
been stressful, let her vent. If she wants to see Bambi and you want to watch Die Hard, pick one--and watch the other the next
time you hang out.
Get Some Creativity
Then again, not everything has to be great for her and miserable for you. It is possible for both of you to enjoy your time
together, but for that to happen, you've got to get creative. Instead of falling into the same old boring trap of doing the
same things over and over, pick activities out of the blue that neither one of you have done before. That way, you'll be
experiencing something new for the first time-together.
Agree to Disagree
Some couples don't see eye to eye politically. For others, when it comes time to pick a movie, it's like pulling teeth.
Sometimes in life you just have to accept the fact that you aren't always going to agree on everything-so why set yourselves
up to disagree in the first place. Make it a rule to avoid the subjects you know all to well are going to get you in a fight.
Agree to disagree, wage a friendly battle of wits and then, before someone blows their smokestack, change the subject.
You'll Get What You Ask For
Nothing is more frustrating than someone who asks a question but isn't ready to hear the answer. 'Do you like this dress?'
Or how about, 'Are you going to come out with me after dinner?' If 'I prefer the red one' or 'I think I'm going to call it
an early night' aren't answers you're prepared to hear, why bother asking in the first place. Do everyone a favor and keep
your yap shut.
We're All Human
Nobody's perfect. That just a fact of life. But too often in relationships, we put people up on these pedestals and give
them impossible ideals to live up to. Before you make the mistake of settingsomeone you might possibly love up to fail,
do them the small favor of allowing them to be human. We're fallible, and the sooner you allow that special someone in your
life to just be happy and comfortable as they are, the sooner your relationship will take off at warp speed.
Just Because I Love You
Whether it's taking out the trash, scrubbing toilets or doing the dishes, every human being on earth has that one task they
are loathe to do. So get off your butt and do it for them. Nothing says I love you like a random little favor for no
reason-not to mention the fact that it shows you're paying attention, which gets you an extra little pat on the back.
Spontaneity is the Key
Sometimes you just have to take the bull by the balls and plan something fun, extravagant, over the top. Some people say
they hate surprises, but if it's a good one-a can't miss, romantic, sweeping surprise, well-you'd be hard pressed to find
anyone who'd turn that down. But by surprise, that means something that will make them happy . a day at the Knicks game for
someone who'd much rather be at the spa is not a surprise for both of you.
And finally.
Speak Your Mind
The days of longing for someone who sits there, looking pretty and shut up are long gone (anyone who wants that in a
relationship should get a pet). You bring nothing to the table unless you're open and honest about what you're feeling,
who you are, your goals, your likes, your dislikes. Speak your truth, because it's a whole hell of a lot easier to love
someone you know that someone who's just a mystery.
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