Taking It to the Next Level
How long should I wait before giving it up? It's an age old question the single have debated for decades. There was a time
when most guys I know would answer, 'Wait? We practically did it on the way to the restaurant'. But now that guys and girls
everywhere are beginning to realize giving it up on a first date doesn't exactly guarantee a repeat visit, more and more
people are faced with the dilemma of knowing when it's right.
You can always go with the simple, 'When it feels right'. But when's that? And if it feels right for you, does that
necessarily mean it feels right for them? And if you're the type who's used to rushing in-or harder still, the type
who waits and waits and waits-you could be sitting there for ages looking for that all important sign.
There are a few things you should know about yourself (and your relationship) that will help determine when it's right to
jump in the sack.
For example:
Are you the sort who easily separates love and sex? If not, you probably want to wait until you're sure what you're dealing with.
Are you sure you're both on the same page when it comes to what you're looking for? Someone who has kids and a mortgage in the
not-too-distant future isn't likely to find himself sexual compatible with a one night stand sort of girl.
Are you exclusive, dating other people, too soon to say? Just make sure you're comfortable with whatever your situation is
before you consider a next step.
Your questions may be different, but at least you get the general concept-know where your relationship is heading. That
said, once you've narrowed down if this is someone you should even think to pursue a sexual relationship with, use the
following stepping stones as guide to gauging whether or not the time is right.
You Eat, Sleep and Breathe Each Other
Is he calling you as much as you're calling him? Do you seem to be spending more time together than apart? If you're
starting to get the vibes your better together than apart, hell yeah, take it to the next level. The whole getting to know
you process doesn't stop when you hit the bedroom door. You want to know that special someone on an intimate level-and that
means both emotionally and physically.
When You Find Someone You Can't Keep Your Paws Off
Generally speaking, when you're fighting tooth and nail to keep it above the belt, ask yourself why. If it's the end of your
first date and you're just really horny, best not to listen to that little voice in your pants-unless, of course, giving it
up right away isn't a problem for you. But if you've been dating for a while and your sex drive is consistently kicking into
over drive every time you're together, why not go for or it. That's a far better sign than, say, being pressured to do it.
When They've Earned It
Much like a raise at work or a lower APR on your credit card, good behavior deserves to be rewarded. So if it's been a month
and he surprises you with the best birthday gift you've ever received, who not let him know just how grateful you are. Maybe
he bonds with your niece at her school play or she makes it through an afternoon of football with your best friend without
once complaining. Selfless acts of kindness deserve to be noticed-and something tells me gearing your first time around
something so memorable might just make it that much more enjoyable.
When You Feel Comfortable Bearing Your Soul
Suddenly finding that you're revealing inner most thoughts and long held secrets to someone you're dating is usually a pretty
good sign you're ready to take things to the next level. Why? Because when the intellectual side of your relationship has
reached such an intimate level, the physical side of your relationship is bound to be ten times as passionate-and with passion
comes excitement, and with excitement comes. well, you get the idea.
When the Chemistry Takes Over
Sometimes, you've just gotta do what you've just gotta do. I know with my ex and me, we were holding out and holding out, just
because it seemed like the right thing to do. One night Princess Bride was playing, a couple Vodka Tonic's were downed and
suddenly, waiting didn't seem all that important. Some of you may argue, 'it was the booze talking. Big mistake.' After two
drinks, your guard is down, not defective. I'm fairly certain we'd been ready for a long time; we just needed that extra nudge.
Suddenly Other Singles Just Aren't That Interesting
Anyone who's been out on a date or two knows that when you aren't all that into someone you're seeing, you notice other single
folks around you everywhere you go. That changes when you're really into someone-suddenly, you aren't taking too much time to
notice the scenery, and what's right in front of your face is all you seem to care about. When that happens, it's a pretty safe
bet you're ready to get down.
Those Three Magic Words Have Been Uttered
Yup. I'm talking about 'I Love You'. There's a reason they say sex is best with someone you love. Unless you're adamant you
want a walk down the aisle before you slip between the sheets with someone, once your relationship has reached this point, you're
pretty well guaranteed the time has come.
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